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Zuber Brothers Confidential

Cassandra

April 29 2009
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Are the Zuber brothers real? Are all those crazy “This One Time” stories about them real? We want answers about the Zuber brothers, so we made a call to Brant Russell, the man who brings the Zubers to us on the last page of every issue of Quad. Here’s the scoop on the infamous Zuber brothers!

QUAD: Yes or no, are the Zuber brothers real?

Brant Russell: Yes, the Zuber brothers are absolutely real. There are three of them–Lex, Wes, and John. And they’re all different. Lex Zuber is like Daniel Boone; he does everything well, he’s a hearty sportsman who can tromp around in the wilderness for days on end without getting tired. And Wes is like the intellectual computer dweeb. And John, we don’t know. He just makes random appearances here and there in between his time in jail [laughs].

QUAD: Have you known them for a long time?

BR: Yes.

QUAD: And you still choose to hang out with them. Why?

BR: I don’t know. I think I’m a glutton for punishment. To this day, you go trail riding with the Zubers and at some point they get in a fist fight. I’m not kidding. They’ll run into each other and they’ll jump off their quads and knock each others teeth out. And you just sit there and wait and sooner or later they get tired, and you’re off to something else. They’re maniacs, all three of them.

QUAD: Are you ever going to run out of “This One Time” stories hanging out with the Zubers? Or is there an endless supply?

BR: Well, it’s not endless because at some point they’re all going to be incarcerated, and that will end it right there. But as long as they’re on the loose. They all live up in Wrightwood, California, which is a like a mile high up into the mountains. And they’re infamous in that town. Sooner or later the authorities will catch up with all of them and then it’ll be all over. They do have the Zuber family compound and the Uber-Zuber bus, all of this is true. There’s not a lot of exaggeration needed with the Zubers.

QUAD: We get letters from readers who say, “You should come ride where I live, but leave the Zubers at home! We already have those kind here.”

BR: They’re everywhere, these people. Everybody somewhere knows a Zuber brother, so everyone who reads that column probably think about somebody they went to school with or somebody in their group of acquaintances who’s like that.

QUAD: So every month that you have to write a “This One Time” story, do you ever have writer’s block? Or do you know exactly what story to tell next?

BR: I think it’s an indictment on me as a person, that I’ve hung out with people like the Zubers…aww jeez…the list goes on with all these maniacs I’ve hung out with. I think normal, rational people don’t hang out with me. I’ve had all these years of stories of hanging out with malcontents and weirdos that I’ve known through the years. I’ve got probably at least another 10 years worth of stories.

QUAD: One woman wrote in and asked if we could put the Zuber brothers on a poster. What do you think of that?

BR: Yeah, you should do it! They are real, and they’re like a fungus among us. You can’t get rid of them!

QUAD: Maybe we can shoot a poster of them in a fist fight on the trail.

BR: That’s not hard! You can get three quads together and have them race around a little circle track, and within ten minutes they’ll be fighting.

QUAD: So, they’ve always seemed like Big Foot to us…like, we think they’re real, it seems plausible that they actually exist, but we’ve never seen any proof.

BR: I think if you ask any police officer in the Wrightwood area, they’ll tell you the Zubers are very real. They inhabit the high reaches of the mountains that are pretty much vacated by normal man.

QUAD: So they don’t just do ridiculous things on quads, right?

BR: It’s funny, Lex is like a champion skier (he was on the U.S. Olympic Ski Team at one time) and wrestler, pro motocross guy on two wheels, he’s a pro-level ATV guy, he’s a great carpenter, he’s good at everything and he’s like one of those guys…I hate him. He just does everything well. I hate him. Everybody hates Lex.
Wes is a computer genius and he has a big computer company, and he’s a millionaire, and he’s just one of those kind of guys.
John, like I said, nobody knows about. He just comes and goes like the Flash.
The whole family is ridiculously successful, they’re all dynamic, and they’re all nuts. So there you go. I guess they just march to the beat of a different drummer, albeit it’s a kick drum miked up by a 75-horsepower Briggs and Stratton. At any rate, it all works and they do well.

212 views | Categorized: Features, News | Tags: Brant Russell, this one time, zuber brothers

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